Taylor Swift’s 12th album, The Life of a Showgirl, was announced surprisingly on the podcast New Heights, hosted by her fiancé, Travis Kelce, sending fans spiraling about what her songs would be like. Many theorized about them being love songs dedicated to her new fiancé, Travis Kelce. Another shock was that this album would solely be produced by Max Martin, leaving out Jack Antonoff, whom Swift usually partners with on her albums. It was released on October 3, and many found the lyrics to be lackluster and the songs similar. As someone who likes more sad Taylor writing about her innermost darkest thoughts, I have some pretty intense thoughts.  

“The Fate of Ophelia”

I will give it to Swift; she picked the perfect song for the first track. As soon as the music started playing and her deep vocals picked up, I instantly thought of another song of hers, “I can see you” on her album Speak Now (Taylor’s Version). Her deep voice always catches me off guard, but every time I love it. Were her lyrics top tier? No. Was it a decent pop song that gets me grooving a little? Yes! I think my favorite part of the song was the chorus. I like the range of her vocals, and overall, it is a decent pop song.

“Elizabeth Taylor”

One thing about Max Martin is that he loves drums, and one thing about me is that I hate drums on pop songs. The drums drown out her voice. I can’t understand any of the lyrics. It sounds like she is mimicking the sound the drums make with her voice instead of actually singing lyrics. When I turn the sound off and just read the lyrics, they are not bad. Of course, they are not to the level that the albums Evermore and Folklore are, but they are not that bad. One standout lyric is “I would trade the Cartier for someone to trust.” The lyrics are lame, and the beat just sounds exactly the same for the entirety of the song. Nothing good really stands out about this song, and the only bad thing.

“Opalite”

I’m gonna make this sound as nice as possible. I never want to hear another love song about Travis Kelce again. Something about the way she writes about that man makes my skin crawl. The beat makes the song sound like a washed out Sabrina Carpenter song. The lyrics were shallow, and it sounded the same as “The Fate of Ophelia.” Her amazing lyrics include fun quips like “My brother used to call it eating out of the trash,” alluding to the men that she has dated in the past and how Travis is so much better than the past men. 

“Father Figure”

The meaning behind this song is good, I guess, but again, it gets overshadowed by the lame lyrics. There are freaky lyrics sprinkled throughout the song, mainly in the chorus. Everyone I have seen react to the song solely talks about that one lyric rather than the story she is trying to convey about being screwed over by her original music label. I think her sampling of George Michael’s “Father Figure” was cool, but other than that, I have nothing good to say.

“Eldest Daughter”

I was utterly disappointed with this song. If you are not up to date with Taylor Swift’s history, her fifth tracks are always supposed to be special. With heart-wrenching songs likeTolerate it and My Tears Ricochet. Everyone, including me, was anticipating an amazing, heartfelt ballad about the struggles of being the oldest daughter. She did not deliver on that. Words can’t describe how upset I am that this song turned into a love song for Travis. Before I listened to this album, I couldn’t care less about Travis, but now, after listening to this joke of a song, I am happy when his football team loses. Also, again, the lyrics are so shallow and millennial that the entire chorus makes me cringe. I was so excited for this song; it feels like my heart was ripped out and squeezed by Swift with this song.

“Ruin the Friendship”

This is the first song on the entire album that I genuinely enjoyed from start to finish, and that makes me so sad to say, coming from someone who has loved her music since I was young. I was so nervous at first because I thought this song would be another love song to Travis, but I was pleasantly surprised. Granted, the meaning of the song is a lot deeper and personal compared to the previous five tracks, but I think that is where Swift excels at writing. This song is written in honor of Swift’s old high school friend, Jeff Lang, who unfortunately passed away at a young age. She wrote a previous song dedicated to him titled “Forever Winter.” She sings about her longing to be more than friends with him, but never actually goes through with it, and I think that concept is so beautiful and personal, something that was completely lacking from this album. I actually added this song to my playlist, and I was excited to listen to it again. I loved it.

“Actually Romantic”

When I first listened to this song, I had no idea that it was supposed to be a disstrack. As soon as the song dropped, many speculated that this song was written in response to a song Charlie XCX released the previous summer. On my first listen, I thought it was a song, but when I found out who it was probably written about and actually heard the lyrics, I realized that it was basic. Honestly, I think I liked it at first listen because most of the other songs on that album were mid (at best). It’s a fine song, but it is so boring and generic.

“Wi$h Li$t”

Absolutely not. This song was trash. Before this song came out, I saw @stephaniemiec on Instagram predicting what she thought it was gonna sound like, and to be honest, I like that one more. There is so much repetitiveness in the song; it gets tiring, and personally, I don’t really care for songs about people professing their need to have kids. Because that’s not relatable to me, and I like songs that I can relate to. Never will I listen to this god awful song ever again. I think it gets boring after the first verse, and it truly is just not worth listening to. 

“Wood”

This song took a more explicit tone, talking about Taylor’s private relationship life. I feel the need to restate this again – I like provocative songs. But this one I hate. I truly have no other things to say about this song because of how uncomfortable it made me feel. Why did she think this was a good idea? I mean, she is a smart woman who knows what her audience base is, many of whom probably do not want to listen about Travis’s manhood. Ew, just ew, that’s all I have to say about this trash song. Swift’s audience is mainly middle aged women and young girls. I don’t think that many young kids will pick up on the provocativeness of the song, but personally, it makes me uncomfortable thinking about kids dancing and singing along to a song about genitals.

“Cancelled”

This is the first time I have laughed at a song in an extremely long time. Emphasis on “at”. What was this song? “Good thing I liked my friends cancelled,” I mean, come on, the reason your friends are “cancelled” is because they got married on a plantation. “Did you girlboss too close to the sun?” Who in their right mind thinks that putting “girlboss” in a song is smart? This entire song from start to end was so cringy. I knew just from looking at the name of the song that it was gonna be stupid. But even I couldn’t grasp just how stupid the lyrics of this song were. Even if this was satirical, it still is such a dumb song with dumb, cringy lyrics.

“Honey”

The only good Travis song on this album. And funny enough, it is one of the shortest songs on the album. I thought the meaning behind the song was sweet, but it’s boring. It hurts me to say because I usually love her songs, but everyone was just so boring; it was a common theme throughout the album, and it made me really sad. As I am writing this, I honestly can’t even remember any standout points of the song. I have no idea what to say because this song is just lame. 

“The Life of a Showgirl” (featuring Sabrina Carpenter) 

If you are ever wondering what it sounds like for an artist to get outsung by the featuring artist, this is a perfect example. Sabrina sings like a goddess on this song, and Taylor is just there. The lyrics are good, and there is honestly nothing for me to complain about. I think Sabrina just ran circles around Taylor. I think it is a good ending track for a below average album.

Overall, I would rate this album a solid 4/10. I think “Ruin the Friendship” was the standout song on this album, but other than that, all the songs sucked. I hate the lyrics, and they all sound the same. Do I recommend this album? No. Do I recommend “Ruin the Friendship”? Yes.  Don’t listen to this album if you value good lyrics. If you like pop songs that are generic with boring lyrics, then yeah, listen to it.