As another week ends another list begins. This list is particularly bitter, specifically because we all need something to get us through this week. I gift you: The Hateful Eight.

1. Speech-to-text texting

It is insane how in this day and age we have decided that instead of progressing as a society towards peace and cheap hardcover books, we have moved towards glorified phone calls. Simply use your fingers and type. Stop being weird.

2. The design of the American flag

The political correlation with this flag is irrelevant right now. What is relevant is how ugly it looks. I get we want to recognize the colonies but can we have some curved lines? Some muted colors? Maybe a pillar or two? I think our current president should hold a contest for a bunch of kindergarteners to redraw the flag. Anything would be an improvement.

3. Jell-O

The texture is just so awful. I also don’t understand how it’s clear. Or why it wiggles. It feels nuclear, which is cool I guess, but it’s nuclear in a bad way.

4. People who don’t tip

Let me tell you a little something about the restaurant industry. Servers make criminally low wages, because they count on tips to make up for that money. This is a fact, not some ploy to get you to tip. The next time you go out, simply plan on having enough money to tip and to pay.

5. Summer

It is hot. It is smelly. It is gross. Too many bugs. Too much sun. Such bad fashion.

6. Moths

A cute little personal anecdote I would like to share is one of recent. My entire family was in town for my sister’s graduation, a huge feat I suppose, and my mom decided we were all going to Pike’s Peak to take a little train ride up to the tippity top of the mountain. At the bottom of the track was a little train station for the little train, ’twas very humid. ‘Twas also hot. Anyways, BAM! A moth hits me in the face. I hate them. They are mean and bad. Would very much like to get rid of them if I could.

7. Nike Dunks

These basic shoes look like cake. There is one for every color, and yet with that variety the most common outfit is monochromatic. Any time I see these it makes me think of James Charles, and that is not a pretty visual ever.

8. Prince “Not My King” Charles

Instead of explaining why I hate him (#dianaismyrealqueen) I will list the things I think would kill him. 

• Milk
• A warm breeze
• The smell of gasoline
• A book
• Euphoria
• Shaved eyebrows
• Camilla (She probably will kill him)
• Hair dye
• Purple eyeshadow
• Times Square
• A mirror