Another week, another gorgeous Hateful Eight.

1. People who don’t use auto capitalization

Pack it up preschoolers. Start capitalizing your sentences, and using correct punctuation. The funniest thing about this is that someone will send you the most gut wrenching text, and it isn’t even grammatically correct. How are you going to break my heart and only use lowercase letters?

2. Gender Reveal Parties

Do we remember the California Fires of 2020? Caused by a gender reveal party. They are so stupid, and just an excuse to hangout with family and friends. So ditch the wildfires and just throw a party with good food.

3. Golden Gooses

So ugly and gross. These shoes inspire pure anger in me. Slapping a crusty star on a 15 dollar shoe somehow makes it 200 dollars. If you are thinking about buying a pair, don’t. Prevent yourself from being embarrassed.

4. Burnt Popcorn

A typical afternoon munch for me is microwave popcorn. Buttery, salty, perfect. This gorgeous experience is ruined when I feel a crunch that then expels one of the worst tastes known to man. Is it my fault that the popcorn got burnt? Yes. Am I making it everyone else’s problem? Also yes.

5. Hydroflasks

Why did we let these abominations follow us into highschool? I don’t hate the design. I hate the cantankerous noise made when one of them falls. I hate the insecurity people feel when it gets dented. Don’t buy it if you aren’t willing to see it ruined.

6. ECOLINE Brush Pens

I had such hope for these, but they turned out watery and horrible. The brush nib is too soft to be practical, and the ink’s consistency makes it impossible to use on basic paper. Not worth the price nor the stress.

7. People who don’t cheer at home football games

I will put it simply: don’t go to the game if you aren’t going to cheer.

8. Hemingway

He is not deep or advanced. His writing lacks any substance, and is so empty that those reading have to fill it up with anything interesting. There is nothing deep about mediocrity.