Don’t tell my teachers but I keep falling asleep in class. Not because their classes are boring but… actually, who am I kidding, they are. I’m a born hater, so why am I trying to hide my hate for their sake? Welcome back to Hateful Eight, and instead of ending cancel culture, we should just use it for more useful things, like the topics of this week!
1.Teachers who are good people but bad educators
These teachers will be the most genuinely kind people. The type of teachers who no one will complain about and you’ll stay after class to hangout with. But when it comes to class, they won’t listen to criticism or answer emails and you’ll just have to search up the topic on YouTube. I don’t care if you emotionally beat me up as long as I leave the classroom with something learned.
2. Chapped Lips
How is the chapstick industry still a thing? Because I have never had the honor to stumble upon one that didn’t leave my lips sticky and chapped. Chapped lips make it hard to put on any face products or lip products for that matter. And the stupid chapped-lip-covering lip stains that are all over Temu do nothing but make your lips look like a highschool boy’s ‘5 o’clock shadow’ and all I want is a product that doesn’t burn them like a lip plumper.
3. Hating on people’s interests
I think people might hate fun. Why do you feel so empowered to yell and scream and kick your feet in the comment sections of a teenage girl’s skit about the Marvel multiverse. I want to introduce people to this new thing of minding their own business, scrolling away, or walking outside and looking at a tree. There are so many more places you can put your ever-so-potent energy then towards ruining someone else’s joy. Actually, you know who would love you… Reddit!
4. Sleep Away Camps
As much as a sleep away camp is a right of passage for many young souls, it’s like pickles. You could add them at Subway, but why on earth would you? There are so many ways to spend your summer, yet the expectation is to suffer with an amalgamation of constipation, homesickness, and a constant threat of wild animals killing you in your sleep. Camp counselors must be paid more than teachers for the things you’re expected to do at that age, but we aren’t setting much of a high bar, are we?
5. Hospitals
At first, my fear of hospitals stemmed from the constant tense air that laid over those buildings, thick and heavy. But after I got over that little snag that young, morbid young IV was feeling, my growing fear of needles developed. I would kick and scream at the idea of something entering my body from some total stranger that had the ability to both kill me and save my life. But now, the scariest thing is the health care system. After learning about whatever on God’s green earth that was, I, for the first time since I had got the app, deleted Instagram and genuinely took time for my mental health. If you don’t know that much about the American healthcare system, I beg of you, DON’T LEARN.
6. Freshman CP Accelerated Algebra
The class isn’t bad, but the curriculum makes me want to repeatedly beat my head into a wall. The memorization is not there; multiple times my teacher has had to go back and teach stuff we learned earlier that year because nobody remembered how to do it. The ‘booklet’ that they use to teach with is more like a bunch of really detailed practice quizzes. They have no examples, so you have to trust that your janky notes are enough, or the notes that you write on the side of the retrievals. Maybe if our own creek teachers had a hand in what made the curriculum it would actually be effective.
7. “Sorry I made you feel that way” Apologies.
“I’m sorry I made you feel that way,” yeah, and I’m sorry that this poison is about to go down your throat. Not my fault though, whoopsies you died… didn’t kill me. What are you even talking about? I already told you how you made me feel, all you have to do is put ‘I’m sorry’ in front of whatever I just said. I am sorry but you sound like Youtube crash out videos, you’ve been talking for twenty-two minutes, yet not once has ‘I’m at fault,’ came tumbling out of your mouth. Yet, I’ve seen plenty of tears fall down your face while you sit on the floor of your kitchen filming a video titled ‘is sean van der wilt gay?’
8. Concrete flooring
Actually, I might be wrong. Concrete flooring is the perfect thing to choose after painting a beautiful wooden house grey beige. Is this another excuse to talk about modern houses? Yes. Did I once have concrete floors in my house? Yes. But, you know what I did with those floors? I PUT WOOD ON THEM! Concrete floors are the base to regular flooring! I can see every stain as a big dark blob in the middle of the ground. Please, I beg of you, just finish the house.
