Summertime made me temporarily less bitter, but being back around Creek’s campus reminded me how enjoyable it can be to hate. Thus begins the final year of the Hateful Eight.
1. Stubbing My Toe
This isn’t my most nuanced take, but pain like this must be recognized. I’ve broken bones. I’ve had mental breakdowns. None of that compares to how awful Stubbing a Toe is. White searing anguish fills your body, and I think it’s the afterlife calling to you.
2. NASCAR
When I was in Chicago this summer, NASCAR was having a race. And I thought it was glamorous to be somewhat involved in a professional sport. Months later, my dad informed me that their cars are automatic. Meaning they are just driving kind of fast. And that’s it. They go the same speed normal people do on a highway, with a couple more twists and turns. I love saying that I could play sports without ever having interacted with them, but I am genuinely convinced that I could hop in a NASCAR race, and finish first.
3. Red and Yellow Bell Peppers
I love green bell peppers. It’s the other kinds that taste absolutely disgusting. Acidic, weird, and likely deducting nutrients from your body, these peppers should go extinct by guillotine.
4. Film Bros
Movies, like all other media, are made to be criticized. But if I want to watch the 2010 Disney Channel Original Film “Starstruck,” I don’t want to hear anything about it. Everything I consume does not need to be a work of art, and I don’t want to suffer through another lecture about how I need to read more into movies. PS: La La Land was good, but it wasn’t that good.
5. The “Quiet Luxury” Style
If I am to spend over $100 on an accessory, best believe I will make it known that it is luxury. Designer brands are a scam, and if I’m paying for the name of a brand, I would like that name to be seen.
6. Wind
This one is hit or miss. There is nothing like a light breeze on a warm day. But if I have my bangs styled, I ask mother nature to please put the fan down. On top of the travesty that is high school, I don’t want to look like 2008 Justin Bieber when my hair gets swooped to the side.
7. Adults Driving Jeep Wranglers
Jeep Wranglers were made for teenagers, and seeing non-highschoolers drive them makes me uncomfortable, unsettled, and disturbed.
8. Timothee Chalamet as Willy Wonka
I can not believe that in 2023, I have to experience the embarrassment of watching the Willy Wonka trailer knowing I was a huge fan of Timothee in the past. Emphasis on ‘was’, as I have retired from my role because of his terrifying performance in this upcoming movie. I don’t know why he pivoted from the moody, misunderstood characters of his past. All I know is, I don’t like it.
