Recently I had the amazing opportunity to go to the largely popular furniture store, IKEA, to sample their famous Swedish Meatballs. I’ve been to IKEA before, but I was probably around seven years old when I last ate there.

I tried to approach with an open mind, but the idea of eating in the same place where people sat in chairs and stared at cabinets for hours seemed particularly strange to me. But nothing is more enjoyable than eating lukewarm meatballs in a school-cafeteria-like section of a furniture store, right?

Wrong. My first complaint when I walked in was how sparse the room was. Metal chairs and plain white tables covered the dining area and made me feel like I was in a prison.

My second complaint would be the upcycled school cafeteria design. You would tell the person working there what you wanted, and they would scoop a portion of your dish out of a lukewarm pan that had been sitting there for who knows how long.

Obviously my third complaint would be the meatballs. They were nothing special, just a normal meatball. The consistency was oddly spongey, almost like rehydrated meatloaf. The only flavor that really shone through was the weird, mayonnaise and gravy tasting sauce that was generously poured on top.

The meatballs were served with radioactively yellow mashed potatoes, which I refused to eat (for obvious reasons), and peas, which were undercooked and stale-tasting.

The combination of the depressing ambiance and the sub-par food made me feel like a true prisoner. The next time you’re hungry at IKEA, I would suggest ordering the classic chicken tenders, or looking on Google Maps for restaurants nearby.

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