Coca-Cola: Stick With the Original


Izzy k

Meron Banjaw, Staff Writer

To tell the truth, it seems like Coke is making a new flavor every day. Bacon, Candy Corn, Turkey, or even Cucumber coke. Lucky for me, most of these flavors are sold in far-off lands, therefore, I’ve only tasted the ones available in the U.S. I am not going to lie, some of these flavors make me doubt the future of human society as a whole. 

1. Regular Coke: 10/10

The OG. The one and only.  I don’t think I need to review this, nothing beats the taste of unhealthy amounts of sugar, and potentially dangerous unknown chemicals, mixed with a teaspoon of childhood nostalgia. 

2. Cherry Coke: 9.5/10

I honestly wasn’t expecting this flavor to taste good, because anything Cherry flavored usually tastes like children’s Tylenol. But Cherry Coke is without argument the best flavor of Coke. The smooth cherry flavor blended with the famous coke taste makes a match made in heaven.

3. Vanilla Coke: 6.5/10

At first, I thought this drink was trash. It tasted more like cafeteria vanilla milk than coke, but just like school lunch, this drink grows on you. The vanilla taste isn’t that overpowering or too sweet, yet there is nothing exciting or unique about it. Vanilla coke is also very hard to find, maybe because nobody drinks this. 

4. Mocha coke: 5/10

I don’t understand why anyone would ever buy this, do you need coffee or do you need Coke? Pick one and stick to it. Coke already has too much caffeine, adding more would probably just make your heart explode. On the topic of the taste, it really isn’t that bad, but it’s not great either. If you’re ever in need of an energy boost so you can stay up all night finishing that AP World History essay that was due two months ago, then this drink might help. 

5. Cherry Vanilla Coke: 3/10 

I guess Coca-Cola thought that mixing two good flavors was going to create a better flavor. Well, they did their math wrong because this drink tastes like carbonated cough medicine with a hint of dollar-store whipped cream.

6. Diet Coke: 2/10

There is literally no reason to drink this. I’m pretty sure they put the word “DIET” as an April Fool’s joke that they forgot to take down. Sure it has less sugar, but I think we all prefer sugar to 4-methylimidazole, whatever that is. 

7. Orange coke: 0/10

I don’t think most people in the US have ever heard of the orange Coke, and honestly, you are probably better off drinking Fanta.  This not only tastes extremely horrible, but it also smells weird too. Imagine mixing Coke with expired 100% no-sugar orange juice, that would taste better. This drink is a disgrace and Coca-Cola should deny its existence. In my opinion, this should be named the Orange Joke, not the Orange Coke.