I apologize for the short hiatus. I would lie and say it was because I was doing something important, but the 2005 Pride and Prejudice was calling my name, and who am I to deny greatness. 

1. Losing Things

You would think at the ripe age of 16 I would know how to keep my stuff together. But I’m not known for thinking. I have gone through so many pairs of knockoff airpods that I could probably have bought the overpriced, poorly made earbuds. 

2. The Mona Lisa

I’m going to be as nice as possible. As a society we value old, uninspiring pieces of everything, especially when it comes to art. Let Ms. Lisa rest, and replace the installation with something of importance. 

3. SHEIN

Especially with the Creek demographic, you can afford clothing that does not literally kill its employees. 

4. Lack of Hygiene at School

As we all have heard, the School has been evacuated for “Mysterious odors.” I’m telling you right now: that stench is teenage boys and their lack of deodorant. A good community service idea would be handing out packs of gum. I’m sure any college would see that work, and immediately accept you on full scholarship.

5. Felt

Horrible for crafting, this fabric only serves the purpose of making finger puppets, and if your child is indulging in the muppet industry, force them to change potential careers.

6. Roses

Roses are too simple and too basic. I implore you to google the GIlmore Girls 1,000 yellow daisies scene, and try to convince me the same effect would be had with those red monstrosities. 

7. Horror Movies

What thrill is there in feeling like you are about to die? I am so comfortable with the strong fact that I will be alive while watching a romcom. Sad and lonely, maybe, but alive and well(?).

8. Chip and Joana Gaines/ Magnolia

I don’t want to see a busted ginger and his gorgeous wife be happy on a farm. Also, can we abandon the awful farmhouse doors and farmhouse feel. If I wanted to live with pigs, I would go to a frat house.