Getting almost struck by lighting is something people don’t face every day, but it is something that I feel has a high chance of happening to me 24/7. “Splitting the pole” has caused me such bad luck, that I tremble in my boots every time I see one.

If you don’t know what splitting the pole is, then let me explain it to you. Splitting the pole is when you are walking with someone and you go in two different directions and to avoid a pole in between you. This especially applies with poles in doorways, which are one of the hardest to avoid splitting.

Splitting the pole is like stretching out the soul tether between two or more people. When you walk far enough, the tether is broken and you are cursed. While this is just how I see the superstition working, many other believers have their own way of seeing it.

The first time I saw this superstition in action was when I was watching “Scary Movie 2” which is why I started believing in it so much. That movie had so much power just in that one scene where one of the main characters pulled her friends to her side to avoid splitting the pole but strangers behind them split the pole and got run over by a car. No one can understand how much that one scene has influenced the way I see poles. But having this superstition affect my everyday life is not for the weak.

Trying not to split the pole at Creek is especially hard since there are so many kids. The school is like a mall on the weekends with so many poles – I thought I was at the North Pole. Having to walk and not trying to be hexed by the malicious poles with so many people around me and my friends is super hard.   

All my friends know that I get so irked that I start to turn into the Hulk when they split the pole. Splitting is my one rule, and if you break it, you might as well say you want me to fall down a 666 story of stairs. 

I feel like I have such a strong attachment to superstition of not splitting the pole and I believe it’s because of my culture. While there’s no evidence of where it originated, according to the University of Southern California, Black American slaves seem to have a connection to it because of the need to stay together when they were escaping. They felt protected when in numbers, but when they started to split off, they could be caught.

I relate to this so much because I always want to stay close to my friends. It’s just like how people at school always go places together like the bathroom. I understand wanting to always be by your friend’s side even in weird places.

Splitting the pole hurts me like how kryptonite hurts Superman. My life has experienced so many curses from splitting the pole, like getting stranded out in the cold while it’s snowing waiting for the bus. 

So if you call yourself my friend, think again when not acknowledging the poles around us. And to the friends who do try to split the pole on purpose, you gotta split away from them, just like how they split the pole with you. If you’re my friend, and you split the pole with me, that tells me you are a no-good backhanded, broke, boring, banal, baleful, bum that I should have left in the ole booty-smelling bed bug-filled basement you came in.

So just remember, if you care about your loved ones, then think twice about ever splitting the pole again. You better yank them to the other side like they were about to fall off a cliff because it might just be the last time you see them. And if you forget this sacred rule, you better pray the wicked pole doesn’t come for you in the middle of the night.