Submission: “I had a massive fight with my “friend” a while back and now her boyfriend is saying really mean things when he walks past me at lunch.”

Something you should always consider while being in a relationship or friendship is communication and boundaries. 

You shouldn’t ever be afraid to communicate how you feel when talking to someone who is important to you, whether that is something that is said or done. If it bothers you, it’s worth bringing up. There is this misconception that it’s bad to bring up your feelings, but if that’s how you feel with your friend, it’s not a healthy relationship. 

Something that has bothered me in past relationships is them not making time for me. I talked to them about it and made sure what I was saying was being heard and understood. Although I don’t tell them with my emotions, I always make sure that both sides are in a good headspace to talk about it, because that can make the biggest difference. 

What I mean by that is if you just got into an argument with this person, I would let things cool down a bit, maybe wait a few days. The reason you would want to wait until you are calm and collected is because of mainly two things. One, because you don’t want to say anything you are going to regret, and two, because if you’re upset then it might be taken in a different way than you would have hoped. 

Setting boundaries and being able to communicate those boundaries is also critical in a relationship of any kind. It should never feel like a burden to bring something like that up. I understand that sometimes it’s difficult to find the right time or words and that’s ok. It should be on your time and when you are ready.

Those boundaries should also be respected. You should never feel like what you’re saying is going through one ear and out of the other, and if that ends up happening bring it up again. If it is still being pushed aside and ignored, drop them. They don’t respect you, nor your boundaries. They aren’t worth your time or energy.