I’m already begging for highschool to be over, and I’m a freshman that’s only a month into school. I’m trying to chill out, but this is basically my only output of all my anger. So, welcome back to another Hateful Eight!

1. Science museums

As a kid I’m sure that at some point I liked the science museum, but now all I can think about is how many sticky hands have touched everything there. The museums usually don’t even have any experiments that are actually science, it’s just a place for tired parents to keep their kids from ruining their house. I end up just sitting, my butt halfway in the water that five-year-olds have splashed on me.

2. Red, white, and blue school colors

Okay, maybe the men of the 1700’s had just started using color, and had to put it brightly on everything they saw, but at least they had an excuse. The people of the modern Creek board decided that all their merchandise had to be kept the exact same colors as the American flag, except neon. It is truly the ugliest pairing of colors that I have ever seen. My mom went to Hockaday, an all girls prep school whose one and only school color was dark green. Since when was a beautiful deep green even a choice?? I would have to instead attend a school with… patriotic colors… ew.

3. Snap Maps

I mean, seriously?! You are willing to share your LOCATION with random people that you only send ceiling pics to. Absolute insanity. Last year, I was sitting with one of my friends when the wifi in our class went out. But after she turned the wifi on her phone back on, there were about a million messages from the guy she was talking to, asking where she was with accusations of cheating. I am hesitant about giving my address to even my closest friends, and you treat it like free samples from Costco.

4. Milk Propaganda

Milk is the most disgusting substance that man can consume, and it’s supposed to help you grow? I was looking through old milk ads and they are all creepy and weird. In a particularly alarming ad, there was a boy and girl who were refusing to drink their milk. They referred to their older neighbor, gardening in the front yard, as someone who doesn’t drink milk and still leads a healthy life. Then the man reaches for his wheel barrow and his arms pop off! His hands were still gripping to the wheelbarrow, and his body was a few feet away! If that’s not propaganda then what is?

5. When British people think they are so much better because their country has a lower BMI

British people need to stop with the whole “Everything is so big in America,” tomfoolery, or someone’s going to get seriously hurt. I especially hate it when British people go into Costcos and suddenly assume that Americans eat all of the food in the high ceiling garage. Not even taking into account how the only people in Costco without 100 kids strapped to their sides, are newly divorced parents that are standing around wondering if their 5 family meals won’t go bad when the kids leave.

6. People who Write in All Lower Case

When you write in lowercase you are giving me nothing. In texting it’s already hard to understand what you are trying to say, and you’ve decided just to make my life more difficult. When you are trying to apologize for something and you go, “i am so sorry for hurting you like that” It makes me want to take out one of my eyes and put it into your forehead, because obviously you need a third eye to look at a different perspective. 

7. Washing my face

Washing my face is not one of my most hated experiences, but much closer to being the scariest. Everytime that soap touches any section near my eye, I immediately have a deep sunken feeling in my chest that a mean man is about to jump into my shower and make the water run red, because of course that would happen the moment I close my eyes.

8. Yeezys 

Yeezys are the ugliest shoes ever, and that’s something I will stand with until the day I pass. No one and nothing could convince me that those sad excuses for bubble wrap are supposed to go on your feet. Or, be worn in any more environments without concrete indoor flooring. Which keep in mind, is the only color they ever come in. And even if you threw your shoe at me in spite, it would slowly float away as I blew on my bangs to see what’s in front of me.