Howdy! Im Izzy. I am a junior here at CCHS, and this will be my third year as staff on the USJ. I will go into this year as the Managing & Design Editor! I love news and opinions and if I'm not writing you can catch me reading a new book, spending time with friends, or going to a concert. I enjoy reading all different perspectives and I'm excited to see what this year holds! As a journalist I strive to present information to the public in a way that is digestible, as well as exploring different perspectives and experiences. I hold a strong love for journalism and hope to continue it throughout my life, whether through photography or writing.
LET IT OUT: Theo Odendahl poses for a photo in the mirror. Men struggle with not being allowed to cry their whole lives. This causes lash outs, breakdowns, and more. This unspoken rule that men can’t cry needs to stop.
Ever since I was young, I’ve had a rough time dealing with my emotions. When I didn’t agree with someone, I would get angry and convince myself they were trying to ruin my life. Little mistakes and slight call-outs would send me spiraling into a rage. My anger built up and when my friends were nit-picking something, I would cuss them out using words that I could even cry from. Instead of reacting with sadness, which was the emotion I was really feeling, I lashed out and got mad at those close to me.
I have since blocked my ability to cry in public. When I get upset I take my anger out on my friends, loved ones, and even strangers. I get extremely violent when I’m upset, and people even tell me I have “anger issues”. I have gotten into so many fights that could have been avoided if I could have just been able to cry or express my emotions in a more appropriate way.
Many men have the same reaction I do when upset at a situation or a person, they lash out at those around them. This causes them to overreact and turn something into a bigger deal then it needs to be. If men allowed themselves to cry or show more “feminine” emotions, they could mitigate lash outs and have healthier reactions to difficult situations.
Human emotion has to come out in one way or another. If a man needs to express how he feels and refuses to cry he will convert his sadness to anger and take it out on others.
Crying and expressing sadness has many benefits when it comes to mental health. When you cry you release chemicals that help to comfort, or bandage, emotional wounds and health with mental health issues. Men harbor emotions and wait till they build up and they blow up, instead of just letting themselves feel sad. This has caused my own mental health to decrease.
Societal norms have forced men like me to push down their emotional vulnerability. They frequently refuse to cry or display any other emotion that’s considered emasculating, when in reality crying allows people to express things they can’t articulate into words.
Men have been fed the same “boys don’t cry” line for most of their lives. Movies and TV shows like The Other Guys, and The Bernie Mac Show all have promoted this idea. In the movie, The Other Guys, Will Ferrell starts crying and his wife started singing a song saying “pimps don’t cry.” After a while, Will Ferrell joined in. Even on the Bernie Mac Show, the main character is always bashing his nephew when he cries saying he needs to “man up”.
Men like to feel strong and have a social hierarchy amongst themselves. They will ridicule each other for showing weakness. This creates the idea that showing emotion makes it easier to be taken advantage of or that demonstrating emotions makes you weaker than everyone else, which is completely untrue.
I have struggled with this stereotype a lot, impacting how I see myself in many ways. Even causing me to hide my true feelings around those closest to me.
I was scared to look weak. I thought that if I hid my emotions and made myself seem tough people couldn’t talk down to me or hurt me. I grew up in rough neighborhoods so I had to be tough so people wouldn’t try and take advantage of me, so crying was out of the question for me if I wanted to make it out in one piece.
When I have cried I have felt better, but afterward I felt embarrassed, even ashamed. I felt as though I was not strong enough to deal with my issues.
It’s ridiculous to stigmatize an emotion that everyone deals with and one that should be considered normal. There’s nothing wrong with men crying and showing more vulnerable emotions, instead, it should be encouraged.
According to an article from Forbes, crying also helps with relationships with loved ones as it shows a vulnerable side of the person. Crying helps build communication skills and can display a bond between people. Crying can help improve interpersonal relationships.
I have built such strong relationships with people because they have listened with kindness to what I was going through. My trust in them is extraordinary because I can express my emotions around them without fear of judgment. When men allow themselves to express emotion they can create longer lasting and deeper relationships with others.
It’s a well known fact by now that men have high suicide rates, and men being told they can’t cry likely contributes to that. According to Renewal Health Group men’s suicide rate were about 90 times higher than that in women. Telling men they can’t cry likely helps contribute to these statistics and cause more mental health issues within men.
The impacts of expressing mental health could be a struggle for some, and it’s not easy to just tell someone how you feel. Having a bond with someone that allows you to trust them is the first step all men should take.
It’s embarrassing to show a weak part of myself because I have always felt like I need to protect myself from harm. This has caused my mental health to decrease. But this doesn’t have to be the case. Attempting to understand what people are going through instead of laughing, allows for everyone to feel comfortable being human and having human needs. We as a society need to normalize that everybody has the right to cry and that it’s okay for men to show more vulnerable emotions.
Zuri Lawrence | Sep 19, 2024 at 1:55 AM
Crying is a cathartic way for all people, both men and women, to express intense emotions building up inside. Gender has nothing to do with the way people express their emotions. Men who try to repress strong emotions by acting tough on the outside are more likely to suffer from mental and emotional issues. A cruel and ruthless father who tells his son to “man up” or “deal with it” just makes him weaker, not stronger. On the other hand, a supportive and sympathetic father who tells his son it’s okay to cry is doing the right thing, because parents are responsible for every aspect of their child’s health. Males don’t deserve to perceive emotions as a liability, because that’s not true. And anyone who agrees with such a ridiculous idea clearly must lack compassion and empathy. Emotional expression isn’t a crime, and a child shouldn’t feel wrong for doing so. All men and women deserve to express their emotions, however they want.
Jerry | Aug 25, 2024 at 6:47 AM
Cry is therapeutic for many people feeling severe grief. Crying is never a gender base situation it’s a natural response to pain and joy. Animals even cry a dog may whimper a cat may meow in distress. To cry shows you’re human and it’s nothing wrong with expressing that natural emotion. Men especially are stigmatized with showing any emotions and suppose to handle any misfortunes that comes their way with poise and the upmost self-control. The way society dictates how men should handle their emotions such as crying leaves men being self-destructive such as turning to drugs sex alcohol etc.. to deal with their pain. These outlets leads to more problems and can build up addictions. So crying is healthy for your mental and emotional wellbeing.