It is very rare that I write a food review. I’m not sure I’ve ever done one. I figure, why not leave it to the experts? I have no clue what I’m talking about.

Well, that’s not true. I make quite appetizing brownies. And the occasional dinner. I sear a good salmon. I know to draw the line at rumproast.

I’ll take it a step further: I’ve had Taco Bell approximately two thousand times (rough estimate). And until now, I have never once gotten anything other than a chicken quesadilla, usually two, and a large Baja Blast.

Consider me someone who likes to stay in her lane.

Anyway, I’ve been closely monitoring the fast food chicken sandwich race. I’m not much of a chicken sandwich person. I mean, I tried the Popeyes chicken sandwich; it was fine, but I’d rather spring for some chicken nuggets. But when Taco Bell announced their own version of a chicken sandwich, I was intrigued. And perhaps a little bit frightened?

Taco Bell has a rather ugly history of making things into tacos that really should not be tacos. I mean, a fried chicken shell? Why? And then they did the same thing with a fried egg and a giant, stale Dorito. That’s exactly the kind of shenanigan Taco Bell keeps pulling, and it’s likely to be questionable. At least based on recent history.

Contrary to the Naked Chicken Chalupa™, however, the Crispy Chicken Sandwich Taco™ did look like it could be okay. Not good, but okay. So I tried it.

I have no regrets.

Let’s just start with the shell. I’m not sure what bread-y type thing they use as the soft shell, but it’s good. They should make more things with that if they don’t already.

Then there’s the sauce. Holy Gordita, the sauce. I’m not sure if there’s anything better than the sauce. That stuff probably contains carcinogens, but it’s delicious. Every time you buy the sandwich, it’s like the lottery on how much sauce you’ll get. From my experience, it’s either two tablespoons of it or about half a teaspoon, no in between. That part really adds to the overall joy of the whole thing. And anticipation.

I’m not much of a jalapeno person, either, but I’ll concede that the little sliced peppers really do add to the overall texture and taste of the whole thing. Plus you can pretend it’s healthy since, of course, there’s vegetables in it.

I may sound sarcastic, but I am entirely sincere. This may be one of the most scrumptious fast food items I have ever eaten.

(I would never rank it above Culver’s cheese curds.)

If I had to pick a chicken sandwich, it would be this one. No contest. Again, I’m not a chicken sandwich person. But I am a chicken person. And this is really good chicken.

Most importantly, however, the Taco Bell chicken sandwich taco pairs perfectly with a Baja Blast (the most important part). And so, until the sandwich inevitably gets wiped from the menu, like the Bell Beefer™, the Potatorito™, the Chicken Caesar Stuft Burrito™, and the Meximelt™, this will be my order.